Featured Story
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The Land of the Green
Once upon a cursed day, a boy rose and went to play. the name the kid possessed was jeff the very best. Now Jeff was in the small town of "Mekemall". This was a very unstable city and was now with the hills after a vulcanic evacuation. This is a picture of the boy that possesses the name jeff. but this day the world went to utter anarchy and Jeff was belittled in the clan of the green. Now the land of the green was interested in corrupted ideologies which led them to live underground. These wicked dwarves burrowed into city hall and were brutally prosecuted for their atrocious ways. The dwarves were swiftly put in the confinement that consisted of bean soup. Then the SR 71 lack Squad was in the area of the fifty-one and opened the can of beans and was prosecuted harshly. The perpetrator of this fraud was named Uolpohr, and he was a tyrant. Soo jeff and his fish scale hat went into the mountains and found a river that flowed with hair.
This hair was filled with toxins and they were poisoned with great speed. Jeff was but just a worm at this point so he invaded the clan of the gray. This clan was full of old people in their 90's. They were strong warriors and they quickly overpowered the frail Jeff. This led Jeff to flee into the clan of the purple which he stayed with a friend. This purple clan was quite disrespectful and he hated them for it, so he gave them a flea infestation.
There was a great snowstorm and they were buried alive. The wise leader of the purple clan melted the snow with his breath. They were plunged into a raging flood. The rapids of this newly created river destroyed city hall, and the burrowing draves were released. They tunneled to the center of the earth, and the magma flowed up the tunnel and burned the town. This led them to construct a big space station that failed and opened a portal to the dimension of the green. This dimension had Shriek, and he scared them off.
Then they killed Shriek and took the land for themselves. But this did not end well when they put his body in the Meme Cave. The Pit of Dead Memes revived Shriek, and he sought to avenge his death. This was before Erhte Jrham killed him. So, Shriek died a total of two times and is still alive today, after a 400-year period of being dead after the revenge of Erhte Jrham.
So they were forced out of the new dimension. Then, they entered the great bay of faint music and arts. The noises produced here reduced them to nothing but a pile of cheese. But they did not give up. They decided to hold a vote to eat one of the members for strength. Uolpohr lost to Jeff by one vote so they ate him. This restored them to their former glory and held their clan strong. This led them to overpower the elderly gorillas and persecute them in their orange land. Now that they had acquired the orange land they painted the land green. But there was one thing wrong with the paint, it contained Arsenic. This poisoned their potatoes and now they had to live off of cows. But this made the cows green and they were considered dragons for the peoples of the outer lands. The only unaffected animal that they possessed was the Nigerian dwarf goat.
The peoples of the other lands worshiped the "dragons", and the Land of the Green became one of the most wealthy and prosperous countries in the world. The Nigerian Dwarf Goat did not like this; he wanted to be the only animal with any clout in the Land of the Green. He trained an army of Elvis impersonators, who sang until all the people of the world fled the Land of the Green. This is the first of many insurrections.
Meanwhile, the Irish missed the potatoes, so they kidnapped the "dragons" and fed them to the carnivorous Nigerian Dwarf Goat. Jeff was in shock and used it to develop a high-power taser. He shocked the Nigerian Dwarf Goat and bit its nose off. This is how Jeff's grandfather realized that Jeff was insane. Jeff's grandfather took the taser and shot Jeff with it. The 80,000 volt current gave Jeff the ability to fly.
Unfortunately, the 80,000 volt current also fried his internal organs, and he had to live off of beans the rest of his life.
This led to the Irish hiring a man called Akatikaiwa to fight for them as a mercenary. They did this because they did now know who would win this great war.
But Akatikaiwa really looked up to Jeff and knew how to make him an all powerful being:... put him him in in the Meme Cave. He did this using a Relic called "the Bob". This relic was made of cookie dough and enabled travel between realms. He used it to create a wicked being called "the Copier", who could bring Evil Shriek back to life.
Unfortunately, Jeff ate the Bob. It was delicious. It gave him salmonella and he nearly died. He was an all-powerful being, so he formed a cube out of ice cream and gave it to the local shoe vendor. In return for this great favor, the shoe vendor used his great medical knowledge (he had 87 P.H.D.s, plus 6 M.D.s) to save Jeff's life. They became best friends and built a catapult.
This catapult had lasers and disintegrated the Washington Monument. They did this on accident, but were stoned anyway. This killed the shoe vendor, but Jeff survived. He became a baker and recreated the Bob, then used it to restore the shoe vendor. The shoe vendor baked the Bob into cookies, then ate them all. The residual energy of the Bob enabled the shoe vendor to restore the Washington Monument, and the shoe vendor was elected President of the World.
The shoe vendor had used all of the Bob's remaining power to restore the Washington Monument. Once it was discovered that he had no more powers, Akatikaiwa was sent to kill him. Jeff baked an indestructible cookie and threw it on Akatikaiwa. Akatikaiwa was shmushed and died. Jeff ate the cookie, and his arm expanded to be 946 yards long. The natives called him "the wicked one with football arm", so he used his arm to engulf their tipis and they cried.
Jeff's arm returned to normal size, and the Irish sought to avenge Akatikaiwa's death. They did this by blowing up a beach ball to the size of the moon and increasing its density to twice that of sugar. The beach ball exploded and everyone on earth went deaf from the soundwave, except Replication the Great, because his duplications prevent any bodily harm.
See The Kenyan Root Beer Massacre for how Evil Shriek became the UnShriek because of the Copier.